Happiness starts at the top

After attending an IEP two days ago I received this email from the student’s dad yesterday:

“Hello Daniel,

I want to thank you for your advice yesterday with Sam's (not real name) IEP. The main reason I think he does not like German class is the way he is treated by the teacher. At the beginning of the year she was dealing with Sam in a rude and dismissive manner, and I think that her behavior and treatment of my son is the reason for his problematic behavior in her class. I thought that it was insightful when you pointed out that Sam, like most children, responds better when treated with respect rather than in a dismissive manner. Thank you”

When I said that I thought it was common sense rather that especially “insightful,” as this father points out. 

And today, what a coincidence, I came across this article from Aubrey Daniels International (http://www.talentmgt.com/blogs/5/post/7090-happiness-starts-at-the-top?utm):

 Keeping employees happy and engaged can be a challenge for many organizations. Our latest newsfeed offers resources and tips for how to reinforce employees and create a happier

Happiness Starts At The To

In today’s workplace a lot of emphasis is put on making employees happy, but many companies mistakenly do so through added perks. Dr. Aubrey Daniels explains that being happy at work is less about what employees are given and more about how they are treated. This blog explains why companies should focus on recognizing employee contributions and achievements in order to b"In reading The Pursuit of Happiness, a recent article in Talent Management magazine about the job of “chief happiness officer,” my first reaction is that a company that appoints one needs one. Increasing perks, and even income, won’t cause people to be happy. If it did, how would you explain why many who are rich are also seemingly unhappy?

Happiness comes from how employees are treated as they work, not as something you give them to make them happy. An important factor to keep in mind is that because happiness is perishable, recognition of accomplishments, contribution and progress needs to be very frequent.  Measures of happiness can only be made by looking at accomplishments. Attendance, effort, productivity, quality and safety are all lagging measures. It is difficult to be happy when the company is not performing well. If you are not treated well, it is also difficult to be happy, regardless of the economic health of the organization. In other words, happiness starts at the top and is reflected not in what the CEO says but in how those words are reflected in policy, processes and management behaviors. If the CHO can bring about those changes, there is a viable and important job. If not, there will be little happiness and lots of wasted time and money.”

How true this is when it comes to parenting and teaching, especially kids with special needs that present behavior challenges! If the approach is “rude and dismissive,” as Sam’s dad pointed out in his email, how can we expect the kids to behave nicely and respectfully? Why we demand the children to behave when the adults that deal with them don’t?

Yes, kids, like most of us, respond better when treated with respect and dignity, regardless of their special needs, challenges and deficits. Something to think about.

Daniel Adatto, BCBA

cadatto@tesidea.com

 

Peering into the mind of Temple Grandin

I had the chance to watch the HBO movie Temple Grandin. If you haven’t seen it, you should.  It’s been said that Temple Grandin is the most recognized person in the world with autism and has done great things for the autism community.  She is also a well-known animal behaviorist and became world-famous for designing humane slaughterhouses. The inventive HBO film paints a picture of Temple’s perseverance and determination while struggling with the isolating challenges of autism at a time when very little was known about autism spectrum disorder.  The movie takes place in the 1950’s when psychiatrists considered autism a mental disorder caused by cold, withholding “refrigerator mothers”.  Grandin’s mother was anything but cold and so much of Temple’s success can be attributed to her mother’s nurturing support. One of my favorite lines from the movie was when her mother declares “I’m supposed to have done this, well then, I can undo it”.  The film follows Temple from her early school years, completion of her Masters and emergence as a woman with a keen self-awareness and an innate sensitivity and understanding of animal behavior.  With the help of her mother, a woman who insisted that people treat her daughter as “different, but not less”, a farsighted teacher who helped Temple unlock her talents,  as well as Temple’s own relentless determination, Temple Grandin paved her way to a successful career as an author, lecturer and pioneering advocate for autism.    

What I loved most about the film was the insight into Grandin’s world, taking the audience inside her mind and the way she visualizes things by using a series of snapshot images that pop onto the screen the same way that they pop into her mind.  A great example of this is when she attempts to enter a supermarket with automatic sliding glass doors. Images of a guillotine keep popping into her head, preventing her for entering the store and forcing her to instead shop at a small mini-market across the street. In one scene she gets off a plane and the sounds and sights are heightened, the screeching whirr of the propeller, loud greetings, the blazing desert heat, all to capture how overwhelming and unbearable simple daily activities can be to someone with autism. But Temple never let these roadblocks stop her.  Very noteworthy is the way in which she deals with her panic and anxiety with the invention of a contraption she designs to apply pressure by squeezing her when she goes into sensory overload, so typical of autism. What is so admirable about Temple Grandin, and is conveyed brilliantly in the movie, is how unapologetic she is about her disorder as she plows through life. She credits autism for her achievements, arguing that her hypersensitivity and the unique way in which she sees things is what allowed her to be so in tune to animal sensibilities.

Overall it is an inspiring story that is dramatic but at the same time charming and offers a wonderful glimpse into the mind of someone with autism. So much in line with Temple Grandin herself, this movie sends a great message about autism. You ought to watch it.

 

Daniel Adatto, BCBA

cadatto@tesidea.com

Want to Get to “No Man’s Land”? Here’s a Map

I often find myself mulling over how this very circumstance happens a lot in education and parenting. You find yourself in an impossible mess, where every available choice seems wrong. You’re in No Man’s Land. It’s a horrible feeling of helplessness.

But the hard truth is that often we have only ourselves to blame for ending up stranded in the middle of the desert. Let me share with you a situation that illustrates how we get into these dilemmas.

Getting Lost
It was at a school site filling in for the therapist who was on her break when my student decided to throw a tantrum. Bad decision #1 was to tell her to stop and to try to bring her to her desk. I should have just paused and waited for Anny to calm down or try to help her deescalate and choose a better coping strategy, or both. Bad decision #2 was to get upset. If one is determined to manage such behaviors effectively, it is best to stay calm and in control of your own emotions. Every decision later on is made easier by remaining calm.

The student in question became louder and physical (i.e. hitting, pushing, throwing objects at people, etc.). She raised her bet. Everybody, including the teacher, stepped back leaving me alone with the problem and feeling judged by them. I should have joined them and stepped back too. Instead, I called, which in this case means “I’m going to show her who’s the boss.” Bad decision #3. I was now doing what I always advise against: Engaging in a power struggle. Yeah, not smart.

And just like that, I was in “No Man’s Land.”

Fortunately, Anny gave off tell-tales that tipped the balance of my decision when she screamed she wanted the computer. On that basis, I finally found my way out. “First let’s go to your desk to finish your work and then you can play in the computer.” She complied. The magic “First…then…” Or Grandma’s Rule: First you eat your vegetables and then you can have ice-cream. I was saved by her overacting. If not for that, I honestly don’t know what I would have done because I had let myself lose control of the situation from all my bad decisions.

I got lucky to have been shown a way out of the wilderness. That’s not going to happen every time. Usually we just have to make a guess as to which way to go. It’s much, much better to avoid getting lost in the first place.

The Way to No Man’s Land
If you want to get yourself into uncharted territory deep in a behavior management hand, with no idea how to find your way back to safety, I can tell you exactly how to do it. Start by getting upset and losing your cool. Proceed up Bad Position Avenue. Take a left on overreacting and trying to show you are the boss, which quickly turns into Power Struggle Road. Keep going past the flashing yellow warning lights, without pausing to consider what they’re warning you about.

When you get where you were headed, don’t stop, but instead veer off in a new direction, maybe taking Forcing Street or Reckless Boulevard. Keep going past the edge of town, until your car is bogged down by deep desert sand, with no guideposts in sight.

But when you get there, don’t call me asking for directions. I don’t know how to get you out of No Man’s Land. I’m only an expert at how to get there.

 

Daniel Adatto, BCBA

cadatto@tesidea.com

 

 

 

 

 

 

Autism and Special Diets

A report released in an issue of Pediatrics states that there is no proof that special diets help or don’t help children with autism.  The study was conducted by a panel of 28 experts made up of professionals from 12 scientific disciplines, including child psychiatry, pediatric allergy, pediatric gastroenterology, and pediatric nutrition. The panel evaluated scientific evidence regarding gastrointestinal disorders in all forms of autism across the spectrum and concluded that there is no evidence that digestive problems are more common in children with autism compared with other children, or that special diets help alleviate some of the behavioral problems associated with autism.

Like any research released about children with autism, the report sparked some intense debate.  One reason for the controversy is that many parents say that restrictive diets have helped their children by combating symptoms and behavior problems of autistic children. What’s important to note however, is that the panel did acknowledge in their report that many parents and medical professionals have reported improvements in autistic behaviors after dietary treatment, but that these observations aren't based on controlled, scientific studies. In other words, they are anecdotal. Many parents try the restrictive diets after hearing anecdotes from other parents but this is not proof enough for scientists and doctors. Additionally, usually these children are receiving other treatments (i.e. special education, speech therapy, behavior intervention, etc.) which only confounds the conclusion that the diets are the sole responsible, or responsible at all for the improvements.

Based on the research, the panel concluded that there is still no proof that special diets help or don't help autistic kids -- or that food allergies, food sensitivities, or gut problems cause autism. Harvard's Timothy Buie, MD and chair of the panel noted "Anecdotal reports that restricted diets may ameliorate symptoms of ASDs in some children have not been supported or refuted in the scientific literature, but these data do not address the possibility that there exists a subgroup of individuals who may respond to such diets."

Bottom line? Because of the anecdotal evidence, a parent with a child with autism may be inclined to try a special diet. But as with any alternative treatment, we strongly recommended that a child following a restricted diet be carefully monitored by a nutritionist and a medical professional.

 

 

Daniel Adatto, BCBA

cadatto@tesidea.com  

What are some of the common signs of Autism?

Scientists aren’t certain what causes autism, but it’s likely that both genetics and environment play a role. Many parents ask how they will know if their child is autistic. More often than not, parents may suspect that something is “off” about their child but ignore the warning signs out of fear or denial.  Better safe than sorry is the best philosophy if you have any concerns. Early intervention is crucial when it comes to treating autism so don’t feel ashamed to ask your pediatrician for a second opinion sooner rather than later.

Sometimes a speech delay is just a speech delay but if your toddler is displaying one or more of these early warning signs it is important to seek help as soon as possible:

 

·       Impaired social interaction

·       Problems with verbal and non-verbal communication

·       Failure to respond to name

·       Avoidance of eye contact with other people

·       Repetitive movements such as rocking or twirling

·       Self-abusive behavior such as biting or head-banging

 Watching the baby’s behaviors is the best way to recognize whether something seems “off.” If you are a new parents, asking around and observing other babies in the family (look for videos if they already grew up), or in the community (the park, the grocery store, etc.) is the best way to go.

Do not jump to the conclusion that if your baby is displaying odd behaviors she necessarily has the disorder. Once again, when in doubt ask your pediatrician.

Here is a great video about how to recognize the early signs of Autism:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1VA6Q3vTC_o

Getting informed is the best advice I can give you. And keep in mind that having the disorder does not mean a sentence of unhappiness for life. There are effective ways to help your child to be a happy and productive member of society.

We are here to help you, you are not alone.

 

Daniel Adatto, BCBA

cadatto@tesidea.com

 

 

 

 

 

What’s your talent?

The special education teacher is asking her students “What’s your talent?” Which made me think that children with special needs may not have a talent. With some exemptions they can’t really excel at anything. And I couldn’t help but wonder how one would feel in that situation. It’s not that everybody is especially talented, but regular developed people are able to experience and savor success, at least from time to time.

As parents we rejoice on our kids talents. They are good at sports, singing, mathematic or arts. How is it to be a parent of a special needs child who is good at nothing?

And this made me realize that our job as parents, teachers, therapists, is to teach our special needs kids to be good at something. Teaching skills where there is lack of, developing abilities where there is disability, fostering success where there is chronic failure.

These kids give up before trying. They stop playing. They might not even get in the game. It’s painful to watch. It requires a lot of patience and energy to motivate them to keep going, or even to make them try to play.

Learning, socializing, trying new experiences, meeting new contingencies of reinforcement (fancy terms we behaviorist use which simply means obtaining rewards from the environment) require motivation, understanding success and failure, visualizing how great it would feel to win or get an A. It requires the ability to connect past experiences with possibilities in the future. All processes very difficult or impossible for people with special needs.

Lack of motivation to learn and get better at something is arguably one of the main features of individuals in the autism spectrum.  Some of them do not to like anything. Others, perseverate in dysfunctional use of objects.  

Therefore, I think it is our job to expose them to success. Contrived rewards and praise have to be built into their daily schedule of activities, at home and at school. Instead of waiting for them to fail to reprimand them, let’s set the environment and provide them with the necessary support to succeed. In some cases the task requires a great deal of work and patience. How you keep your “cool” when they are throwing a tantrum in the grocery store, screaming to the top of their lungs, hitting and kicking you? Realizing that they are suffering and it’s our job to help them and not the other way around can be a very effective shift of perspective. 

Another important factor to consider is the need to teach them social skills, especially how to play with others. What regular developed kids learn by themselves has to be taught to these children. Spending some time playing with them, coaching them through the turn taking/sharing/following-the-rules/winning-losing processes can be a challenging but crucial task to support special needs children achieved success.   

Let’s help them win and we’ll be winners.

 

Daniel Adatto, BCBA
cadatto@tesidea.com

     

Teaching self-advocacy to a child with special needs

Teaching a child with special needs self-advocacy skills can have a tremendous impact on a child’s future success in all aspects of his/her life. Self-advocacy involves knowing when and how to approach others in order to negotiate special accommodations that are needed to achieve maximum success. For a child with autism, this can involve learning how to articulate when a particular situation is overwhelming and asking for help. For example, imagine a student with autism being asked to take an important test in a room illuminated with fluorescent lights. This kind of lighting can be very distracting to a person on the spectrum and might hinder test performance. If an individual knows how to self-advocate, they will know how to appropriately request special accommodations.

Parents should begin teaching self-advocacy at a very early age by taking advantage of real life situations and modeling good advocacy skills. If you see that your child gets very easily over-stimulated by the sights, sounds and smells of large stores like Target, you can teach your child to recognize and articulate those feelings. Even before children learn to speak, parents can begin to teach them to express feelings in an appropriate manner in order to get their needs met. For example, if you see that your child is starting to get uncomfortable (most parents recognize the pre-meltdown signs - it is helpful to become aware of those signals), you can ask your child if he/she is having a difficult time.  Model the words for your child and request that they repeat it back if they can. You can model by saying “Mommy, it’s very loud in this store, I need to go somewhere quieter”. For a young child, this will go a long way in preventing tantrums and meltdowns. As the child gets older, being able to express these needs could mean the difference between success and failure at school, college, in relationships or in the workplace.

When a child with special needs reaches school age, teaching self-advocacy should be continued by the schools. Parents should request that it be part of the IEP as it is a necessary part of the child’s education if they are to become more effective citizens.

As the parent of a hearing impaired child, I witnessed first-hand the outcome when a child is taught to self-advocate at a very young age. At first it may be the role of the specialist to advocate on behalf of the child but as the child gets older, he/she learns to do this in a completely independent manner. Currently in 7thd grade, my daughter has had the benefit of working with deaf and hard-of-hearing (DHH) specialists who have taught her self-advocacy since a young age. Now at the age of 12, she always knows to request to sit at the front of the class and to request that the teacher repeat instructions if she misses something important. When there are spelling tests, she doesn’t hesitate to remind the teacher to face her when reciting the spelling words, or even ask that they be used in a sentence if there is a word she can’t decipher.

Once we were out to brunch with our extended family when my 6-year old niece asked my daughter if she would sit next to her at the table. My daughter said no. At first I thought she was just being difficult and told her to mind her manners. As parents we tend not to give our kids the benefit of the doubt. My daughter quickly put me in my place. She insisted on sitting across from her cousin. After we settled at the table and were all quietly reading the menu, my daughter looked up at her cousin, and without any prompting explained to her that the reason she wanted to sit across from her and not next to her was so that she would be able to see her mouth and therefore understand her better (she relies on lip-reading to an extent and especially in noisy environments). I was amazed by her maturity and ability to be so self-aware. She instinctively recognized that it was going to be difficult to hear her cousin in the noisy environment of a restaurant and that it will be easier to converse if she had the ability to see her face and read her lips from across the table. Even more impressive was the fact that she was completely unapologetic about it, simply stating very matter-of-factly that this was what she needed and why. 

As this example demonstrates, there are important benefits that come with learning about one’s strengths and challenges in order to successfully adjust the environment to accommodate one’s needs and it can be accomplished at a very young age.

 

Daniel Adatto, BCBA

cadatto@tesidea.com