Kids need structure and routine, even in the summer

We are just a few weeks away from summer vacation and already I can see the behavior problems creeping in. Boredom is one of the main culprits of behavior problems in children. The lack of predictability that goes hand in hand with summer and the absence of regular routines can cause stress in children and can in turn cause them to act out.

Parents may overlook this factor. After all, what child doesn’t love being out of school? Adults assume that most children would be happier during the stress-free days of summer. But this isn’t always so. Many children do much better with routines that are more synonymous with the school year. When a child can anticipate what is coming it increases his sense of control and independence and therefore encourages cooperation. Having a familiar routine builds confidence and decreases anxiety.  

But all is not lost just because it is summer. If your child is not attending a summer camp or doesn’t have a daily activity to depend on, it is still possible to build structure and routines into the day. Some useful tips are:

- Try to maintain times and sequence of events as structured as possible. For example, if a child is used to eating breakfast as soon as he wakes up, stick to this routine.

- Since children feel more secure when they know what to expect, it is best to plan the day ahead of time and discuss it your child the day before.

- Build some choices into the day to help your child feel some control and nurture self-esteem.

- Use visual schedules (pictures, drawings, etc.) to cue a child about what is happening. 

- Present scheduled of activities in a positive manner and try not to be overly rigid. Some flexibility is always necessary. If you remain flexible and adjust your expectations, it will be easier to maintain a stress-free environment for your children.

- Plan physical outlets daily. Kids need to burn energy. Sitting in front of the computer or playing video games for hours long is a recipe for disaster. Planning play-dates at the park or at the beach could be good ideas. Going hiking and bike riding is always fun. 

- Watch what they eat. If your child is not overweight some “junk-food” is OK as long as you balance it with healthy food. Food is the main source of energy. Too much sugar and processed food have a direct effect on mood changes. When in doubt, consult with you pediatrician or a nutritionist.

-  Plan some quality one-on-one time with your kids where they are the “boss” and you play with them. 

And finally, always include some free time in the day – children need some down time and it can be exhausting to be overly scheduled.

And have a happy summer!

 

Daniel Adatto, BCBA

cadatto@tesidea.com

Can your child recover from autism?

The results of a study on early intervention for children on the autism spectrum, performed by the Center for Autism and Related Disorders (CARD), are very encouraging.  The researchers followed 14 young children receiving intensive Applied Behavior Analysis (ABA) over the course of three years. Although there are many varieties of early intervention, ABA is the method of treatment most often recommended by professionals because it is the only method of autism treatment that is scientifically backed. This means that results achieved utilizing ABA methodology are proven and documented using scientific clinical studies such as this one.

According to their press release, the CARD study showed improvement in all of the children who participated, and claims 43% of participants “no longer display clinical symptoms of autism.” These results are extremely encouraging and send a message of hope to all parents that with the right interventions, children can recover from autism. This type of study were beneficial to the process that led to the bill mandating insurance companies to pay for ABA therapy for constituents diagnosed with autism in California and several other states.  Insurance claims for ABA were often rejected in the past on the basis that ABA therapy was experimental in nature.

Without trying to squash any hope brought about by this study, because it is very positive, we do need to be cautious in the conclusions we draw from it. The sample size of this study, 14 children, is very small and does by no means prove that all children will be able to recover from autism. We also need to be careful on how we define “recovered” or “cured”. It is true that many children grow out of the symptoms of autism and can eventually fall off the spectrum (as measured by standard assessment tools). However, many of these children continue to have a tendency towards problematic behaviors. These behaviors often reappear during times of change or stress. If a child and parents are continuing to receive proper ABA treatment and training, the reoccurrences can be minimized and even prevented.

Since the study was performed on children receiving early intervention, the participants are still very young. By diagnosing them as recovered at such a young age, we may be preventing them from receiving the continued services they need to ensure proper development. So while it is nice to believe that children can recover from autism, we also need to be careful about being overly optimistic.

For parents of children in the spectrum, the road is not easy. Receiving direct in-home intervention services, usually daily, can be intrusive. Parents (at least one of them) are recommended to participate in session in order to receive the hands-on training necessary to carry on the intervention when the clinical team is not present, thus providing their child with the necessary treatment for most of his/her waking hours. President Barack Obama just urged fathers to get more involved in their kids' lives in his weekly radio and Internet address this Father’s day weekend. Obama said “being able to have a child doesn't make you a man, but having the courage to raise one does.”  To read the entire article click on http://news.msn.com/us/obama-on-fathers-day-being-a-dad-takes-courage.

Also, identifying the right provider requires education and experience. Families usually receive services from different companies until they learn the process and are equipped to choose.

It is definitely challenging. However, it is currently the only way. Consider it an investment, a sacrifice that parents make for the family’s quality of life.

The good news are that there is hope. And that is what matters.

 

Daniel Adatto, BCBA

cadatto@tesidea.com

Does punishment work?

We discussed punishment in previous blogs. The LA Times bring the issue back, this time in school settings.

“School administrators typically have handled misbehavior problems by suspending students. But this year Markham and Gompers middle schools have reported marked reductions in that form of discipline — as has the L.A. Unified School District overall, where the suspension rate dropped to 1.5% last year from 8% in 2008.”

In this article (http://www.latimes.com/local/la-me-lausd-suspend-20140601-story.html#page=1) alternative discipline strategies in school settings are discussed. 

“The drop came after the Los Angeles Board of Education and L.A. schools chief John Deasy called for fewer suspensions as concern grew nationwide that removing students from school imperils their academic achievement.”

Kudos to the chief. I understand that schools may suspend problematic students for safety reasons. Aggression (physical and verbal, including cursing), property destruction, class disruption, threats (including bringing weapons to school), are all safety concerns.

However, from a discipline point of view sending problematic students home not only doesn’t address the real problem but often times rewards bad behaviors. Students who don’t want to go to school get to be home playing videogames, or something worse, frequently unsupervised because their parents need to work.

I’m aware of the fact that teachers and school administrators have a hard time dealing with misbehaviors, especially since years of tight budgets have left limited funding for the critical extra staff and training. 

“Principal Traci Gholar said she readily suspended disruptive students in 2011-12, her first year at the helm, to drive home to families that she was intent on building a safe, orderly and positive school climate. When superiors questioned her high suspension rate, Gholar asked for new resources that would support alternative disciplinary approaches: a conflict resolution specialist, a restorative justice coordinator, more campus aides, performing arts events and other activities.”

Alternative disciplinary approaches, interesting. Since I know you are a fervent follower of our blogs, you are familiar with alternative forms of discipline, positive ones aimed at building behavior repertoires, including life skills.

“The extra help appears to have made a difference. According to school data, incidents involving student misbehavior declined from 1,035 in the last school year to 663 as of May of this year. And although most of the misbehavior was serious enough to warrant suspensions, Gompers made a greater effort to address it in alternative ways, reducing the suspension rate to 3% from 30% last year.”

“Markham has also reported significant progress. Student incidents have declined from 1,732 in the last school year to 1,463 this year and the suspension rate has fallen to 7% from 12%. Like Gompers, Markham has received extra help, including a restorative justice coordinator.”

 Wow! These alternative strategies not only sound good but they work.

“As Gompers students celebrated "peace week," featuring games and banners decrying violence and bullying, eighth-graders Wesley Price, Cindy Birrueta and Maria Gomez said the atmosphere on campus has improved greatly. Gomez said that "community building circles," in which students share experiences, build trust and forge friendships, have helped reduce tensions.”

In other words, proactive strategies to foster and encourage appropriate behaviors and create a positive atmosphere (“peace week”, visual reminders, support groups, special activities to increase motivation, etc.), address the real problem. As we always say, behaviors are communication. When an individual misbehaves he/she is expressing a need. By punishing, the needs remain unresolved.   

Often times I hear the statement “there are no real and consistent consequences in school settings,” meaning punishment.

I think the problem is that there are no real and consistent rewards, making learning fun, teachers that know how to get the attention of their students by motivating them rather than policing or forcing.  

Let’s stop the madness and start training and educating parents and teachers on effective ways of teaching and fostering appropriate, functional, social significant behaviors. It would be cost-effective by rising and nurturing productive members of society. It is the right thing to do. 

 

Daniel Adatto, BCBA

cadatto@tesidea.com

 

Kids and Summer Time

We are just a few weeks away from summer vacation and already I can see the behavior problems creeping in. Boredom is one of the main culprits of behavior problems in children. The lack of predictability that goes hand in hand with summer and the absence of regular routines can cause stress in children and can in turn cause them to act out.

Parents may overlook this factor. After all, what child doesn’t love being out of school? Adults assume that most children would be happier during the stress-free days of summer. But this isn’t always so. Many children do much better with routines that are more synonymous with the school year. When a child can anticipate what is coming it increases his sense of control and independence and therefore encourages cooperation. Having a familiar routine builds confidence and decreases anxiety.  

But all is not lost just because it is summer. If your child is not attending a summer camp or doesn’t have a daily activity to depend on, it is still possible to build structure and routines into the day. Some useful tips are:

 - Try to maintain times and sequence of events as structured as possible. For example, if a child is used to eating breakfast as soon as he wakes up, stick to this routine.

- Since children feel more secure when they know what to expect, it is best to plan the day ahead of time and discuss it your child the day before.

- Build some choices into the day to help your child feel some control and nurture self-esteem.

- Use visual schedules (pictures, drawings, etc.) to cue a child about what is happening. 

- Present scheduled of activities in a positive manner and try not to be overly rigid. Some flexibility is always necessary. If you remain flexible and adjust your expectations, it will be easier to maintain a stress-free environment for your children.

- Plan physical outlets daily. Kids need to burn energy. Sitting in front of the computer or playing video games for hours long is a recipe for disaster. Planning play-dates at the park or at the beach could be good ideas. Going hiking and bike riding is always fun. 

- Watch what they eat. If your child is not overweight some “junk-food” is OK as long as you balance it with healthy food. Food is the main source of energy. Too much sugar and processed food have a direct effect on mood changes. When in doubt, consult with you pediatrician or a nutritionist.

-  Plan some quality one-on-one time with your kids where they are the “boss” and you play with them. 

 

And last but not least, always include some free time in the day – children need some down time and it can be exhausting to be overly scheduled.

 

And have a happy summer!

 

Daniel Adatto, BCBA

cadatto@tesidea.com

When the rewarding program is not working

My clients (parents, teachers, therapists) often come to me in frustration that the rewards plans to change behaviors are not working, or that their child does not respond to reinforcement.

We know that behaviors are governed by the same principles across people, ages and environments. Behaviors that are rewarded (they work to obtain desired objectives or avoid undesired ones) continue in the future. On the other hand, behaviors that are not rewarded (or are rewarded inconsistently) stop. So if a rewards program is not working, we must delve deeper and examine where the breakdown is and how can we adjust the program to make it work, because when implemented properly, the programs DO work.

Because these principles are based on decades of well-designed and proven scientific research, one can not say that someone does not respond to reinforcement.  As Bobby Newman and Dana Reinecke put it in their book “Behavioral Detectives” (highly recommended, very easy to read), “that is like saying someone does not respond to the laws of gravity.” If the desired behavior does not continue it is because there was no reinforcement, the reinforcement program was not implemented effectively. As the authors say, “Just because you delivered a consequence does not mean that you delivered a reinforcement.”

From Applied Behavior Analysis, by Cooper, Heron and Heward: “Reinforcement (rewarding) is the most important and widely used principle of Behavior Analysis,”

Let’s take a look at some examples:

Scenario 1: Paul works at the grocery store. He receives $15 per hour. His supervisor approaches him one day to inform him his pay will be reduced to $10 per hour.

Scenario 2: Marie has been working at the doctor’s office for a few months already. She is paid randomly so she works for free several times per month.

Scenario 3: John realizes that co-workers who don’t come to work every day and/or do not complete their assignments get paid the same amount of money as he does.

Scenario 4: Nick is rewarded with stickers for cleaning up his room. He has several binders filled with stickers. He recently expressed not being interested in stickers any more.

As a result, Paul resigns, Marie doesn’t come to work anymore, John attends work and does not complete assignments as expected, and Nick stops cleaning up his room.

Not surprising, right? Well, this is what often happens with the implementation of rewarding plans when managing children’s behaviors. And yet, parents, teachers, therapists and caregivers continue with the inconsistent implementation of rewarding plans and the lack of change in the child’s behaviors.  

Our focus should always be to reward good behaviors and ignore (not allowed access to rewards or “pay offs”) the not so good ones. But this has to be effective, or the plan will not work. How we know that the plan is working or not? The individual, through her behaviors, is going to tell us.

Some of the keys to making a reinforcing program successfully are:

-        Do not ignore good behaviors. If you promise a reward, even when the child might forget that you promised him an ice-cream, you must follow through and get him an ice-cream. If you asked your child to hold your hand in the parking lot, don’t go to your smartphone as soon as he holds your hand. Praise him, give your child some positive attention, reward him with some quality time. In other words, you want to reinforce because your message is “there is a reward if you behave as expected.”

-        Adjust the way in which rewards are delivered according to the behaviors displayed by the individual. If it seems that is not working, perhaps the rewards have to be provided more often and/or in different magnitude.

-        If the reinforcement plan is to be effective the criteria for the response need to be planned out in detail, understood, and implemented consistently by everyone involved in the child's program.

-        Reinforcement should be motivating to the student: use reinforcements of sufficient magnitude.

-        Initially, set a criteria for earning reinforcement that is easy to achieve for the child.

-        The reinforcer has to be exclusive to reward the specific desired behavior. If the child has free access to candy, why would he make an effort, right?

 

Reward more, reward often, reward effectively. And you’ll be handsomely rewarded.

 

Daniel Adatto, BCBA

cadatto@tesidea.com

Threatening

“Stop it right now or…”

Threatening your children is almost never a good idea. First of all, you’re teaching them a skill you don’t really want them to have: the ability to use brute force or superior cunning to get what they want, even when the other person isn’t willing to cooperate.

Secondly, you’re putting yourself in an awkward position in which you either have to follow through on your threats—exacting a punishment you threatened in the heat of your anger—or you have to back down, teaching your child that your threats are meaningless. Either way, you’re not getting the result you want and you’re damaging your relation with your child. And there is that bitter taste in your mouth, I’m sure you know what I’m talking about, right?

While it can be difficult to resist the urge to threaten, try sharing vulnerably and redirecting to something more appropriate instead. “It’s NOT OK to hit your brother. I’m worried that he will get hurt, or he’ll retaliate and hurt you. If you’re mad, you may punch a pillow, the couch or the bed.”

By offering an alternative that is safer yet still allows the child to express her feelings you’re validating her emotions even as you set a clear boundary for her behavior. This will ultimately lead to better self-control and emotional wellbeing for your child.

When I was a child, not so long ago, my grandma used to threaten us with “The Old Man with the Bag” who comes and takes the kids that misbehave. Well, you can imagine the nightmares and dark thoughts trying to picture this evil guy who might come and take me, or my brother, forever.

Some threats are a little less intense. For example, “You won’t get ice-cream,” “I’ll call the police,” or “I’ll tell your dad,” only to forget later and give your child ice-cream and….. Well, you get the idea. Try instead “When you finish your homework you can watch TV;” “If you guys play nicely you can have ice-cream;” or “You cleaned your room, I’ll call your daddy at work, he’ll be so proud of you.” As discussed in previous blogs, praise and rewards go a long way.

Try to avoid aversive techniques of discipline, including loss of privileges and any other way to cause emotional or psychological suffering. In your quest to raise your kids you’ll be ahead of the game because motivation and love are the most powerful tools of discipline. 

For the record, I found out that there is no “Old Man with a Bag.”

  

Daniel Adatto, BCBA

cadatto@tesidea.com

 

 

The Value of a Good Praise

One cannot overestimate the power of a good praise. Who doesn’t like to be praised? Most of us like to be told we did something well. And as a result we’ll try to do it again, and again, and again. Kids are the same.

 

Therefore, praise is necessary to reward (reinforce) desired behaviors. Do not ignore good behavior if you want to see it again.

 

It is important to note that praise should not be related to how you feel about the relationship/person. It should be about the behavior: “Good job with your homework.” “I’m happy you are playing with your brother so nicely.”

 

This being said, it is very easy to spoil your praise by adding words to it that might cause the opposite effect of what you intent. Rather than encouraging, they punish.

 

So, here is a list of our favorite “Praise Spoilers”:

 

BRINGING IN THE PAST: “Well, finally you did .......” Keep in mind that kids live in the present. If you child perform the desired behavior, “now” is what matters.  

 

BRINGING IN THE FUTURE: “I hope you do ........next time.” Or “See, if you make an effort, you’ll be able to do it again next time.” This can be overwhelming and therefore, punishing. “Because I did it now, I’ll have to do it forever,” is what your child might feel.

 

DISCOUNTING: “That wasn’t too hard, was it?” Don’t be “cheap.” The value is in a clear and straight praise.

 

GOING TOO LONG: “You did such a good job, I’ve never seen you do ......like you did now, because.....” The child tunes you out after a while and learns to tune you out from the beginning next time you praise him.

 

ADDING ON: Putting “but” after. “Good! You’ve made your bed, BUT look at the toys”. Do your child a favor, let him savor you praising him for a little bit, would you?

 

PROPHESYING: “I knew you could do it.” Are you telling your child he didn’t do it before “on purpose”? Even if you mean that you trusted him, your praise could easily be misunderstood.

 

PRAISING CHILD, NOT PERFORMANCE: we make it about the child’s real self, instead of about what he’s doing. Love is NOT unconditional. “I’m proud of or I love you because you cleaned your room.” We should be proud of our kids unconditionally, love them no matter what they do or don’t do.

 

EXAGGERATION: “That’s the most beautiful thing I have ever seen.” Just because they drew a picture of a girl holding a flower, seriously? Praise in proportion, do not overdue it, kids feel the difference. And they will really appreciate when the “most beautiful” is deserved.

 

COMPARING: You teach your child to compare themselves to others. “You do so much better than your brother”.

What are the risks of praise spoiling?

Well, just to mention two, your child can become a “workaholic” (works harder & harder to get love & acceptance) and/or give up: “No matter how hard I try, I’ll never be good enough. Why bother?”

 

So, fantastic job mom and dad, we love you, you are the best and we couldn’t be prouder. Keep up the amazing work you are doing raising your awesome kids!!!!!

 

Daniel Adatto, BCBA

cadatto@tesidea.com